I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
