Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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