Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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