Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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