Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I look better un-naked...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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