did you get engaged???
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
