Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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