ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dick very happy bro
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You don't make any sense
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