tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?