i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot