Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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