1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Randomize