So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
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There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
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sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner