Define "chronic" masturbator.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.