i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
