I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
