I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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