he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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