i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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