that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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