I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
In America we eat man semen.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize