My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
