Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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