This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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