As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
