If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...