let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize