OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize