Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize