I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize