$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
