I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.