he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt