I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize