he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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