what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
