i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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