My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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