Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I look better un-naked...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize