I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize