you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize