I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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