Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Call me so I can make it juicy for ya

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  (704): Call me so I can make it juicy for ya http://tfl.nu/dgtu
  Replies (8) Good night (1481) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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  (503): She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true. http://tfl.nu/uoge
  Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (1678)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  soooo we both peed the bed last night...

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  (301): soooo we both peed the bed last night... http://tfl.nu/xqno
  Replies (30) Good night (1047) Bad night (7159)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.

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  (330): i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait. http://tfl.nu/bv41
  Replies (15) Good night (2878) Bad night (988)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.

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  (+44): You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4. http://tfl.nu/tyhh
  Replies (2) Good night (1985) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.

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  (610): first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lsrh
  Replies (6) Good night (2531) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.

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  (425): You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality. http://tfl.nu/6xy0
  Replies (6) Good night (1204) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...

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  (402): Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem... http://tfl.nu/aasf
  Replies (2) Good night (780) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We won Spring Training 2013.

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  (609): We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them. (609): We won Spring Training 2013. http://tfl.nu/awkc
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success

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  (203): I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success http://tfl.nu/5jtv
  Replies (0) Good night (731) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.

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  (971): I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast. http://tfl.nu/uskm
  Replies (5) Good night (594) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...

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  (978): You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again... http://tfl.nu/9z52
  Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.

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  (907): I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams. http://tfl.nu/1yko
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.

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  (904): Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever. http://tfl.nu/o5og
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.

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  (317): If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy. http://tfl.nu/4eke
  Replies (8) Good night (863) Bad night (526)

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