Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?