Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less

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  (586): Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less http://tfl.nu/ah1z
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (1398)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He was trying to put me in handcuffs.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  You have my attention.

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  (662): I scissor kicked a one legged man last night. (662): He was trying to put me in handcuffs. (1-662): You have my attention. http://tfl.nu/abr0
  Replies (25) Good night (1900) Bad night (580)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME

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  (724): As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME http://tfl.nu/k5kv
  Replies (9) Good night (4133) Bad night (506)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows

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  (480): I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows http://tfl.nu/5bqe
  Replies (21) Good night (6071) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.

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  (908): i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie. http://tfl.nu/9olo
  Replies (16) Good night (4479) Bad night (783)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?

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  (405): i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk? http://tfl.nu/idqr
  Replies (25) Good night (5462) Bad night (1565)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...

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  (763): lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab... http://tfl.nu/1m3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1524) Bad night (2708)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level

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  (703): had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3h42
  Replies (3) Good night (1485) Bad night (3850)
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  (661): View more from California

  Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.

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  (661): Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat. http://tfl.nu/08yi
  Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (2371)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  We are hot boxing the gondola

  (607): View more from New York

  I hate everything.

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  (207): We are hot boxing the gondola (607): I hate everything. http://tfl.nu/4t9d
  Replies (9) Good night (1473) Bad night (602)
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  (714): View more from California

  And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize

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  (714): And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize http://tfl.nu/o5b5
  Replies (4) Good night (1879) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now

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  (423): So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now http://tfl.nu/44f0
  Replies (13) Good night (474) Bad night (1135)
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  (516): View more from New York

  There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?

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  (516): There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much? http://tfl.nu/0m7u
  Replies (3) Good night (619) Bad night (1214)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is

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  (720): I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/velj
  Replies (6) Good night (918) Bad night (358)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"

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  (334): Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning" http://tfl.nu/rbo4
  Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (232)

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