Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.

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  (212): She was not exactly lady-like. Down there. http://tfl.nu/8oh7
  Replies (7) Good night (640) Bad night (1566)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?

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  (847): I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops? http://tfl.nu/7gnj
  Replies (12) Good night (2960) Bad night (521)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.

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  (804): remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt. http://tfl.nu/2ukp
  Replies (9) Good night (762) Bad night (3327)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.

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  (503): I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there. http://tfl.nu/oh3e
  Replies (19) Good night (4339) Bad night (595)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"

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  (630): i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis" http://tfl.nu/h67z
  Replies (20) Good night (978) Bad night (5367)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.

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  (904): I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/1lds
  Replies (12) Good night (922) Bad night (3966)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".

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  (281): All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems". http://tfl.nu/zcya
  Replies (11) Good night (3710) Bad night (1350)
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  (650): View more from California

  at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running

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  (650): at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running http://tfl.nu/xnze
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (2257)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?

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  (206): She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level? http://tfl.nu/kfzw
  Replies (4) Good night (1738) Bad night (684)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

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  (850): Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either. http://tfl.nu/w5pa
  Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (2172)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior

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  (508): nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior http://tfl.nu/s256
  Replies (6) Good night (2220) Bad night (801)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read

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  (435): I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read http://tfl.nu/7a19
  Replies (14) Good night (2614) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.

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  (910): Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee. http://tfl.nu/pw4k
  Replies (12) Good night (1873) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.

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  (608): Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/o18n
  Replies (6) Good night (868) Bad night (274)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.

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  (610): Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow. http://tfl.nu/yt6q
  Replies (0) Good night (369) Bad night (183)

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