i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The uberlube is also flammable
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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