why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm always down for nudity.
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