we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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