ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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