dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize