I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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