he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I would ride that face into the sunset
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
