I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
