i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.