I'm going to jail i love you
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
And then my night got REAL pukey
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.