if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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