you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
