once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize